I hate fat ignorant people
I don't mean that I hate all fat people, or that those I do hate I hate because they are fat. No, I hate those fat people that impose their fatness upon the rest of the world.
Take for instance my trip home from Comox. I was lucky enough to have an empty seat between myself and the window-seat on the leg from Comox to Calgary. I foolishly took this as a sign that because I chose to travel overnight that the plane may be less than full on the Calgary-Toronto leg. Oh how misguided my thoughts were. I finally get on the plane in Calgary at 12:30am after a 4 hour layover, only to be greeted by a couple snuggling in the whole 3-seat-wide row. Now normally I really wouldn't care, but due to this womans incredibly wide thighs they had chosen to raise the armrest between the seats... not only between their two seats, but they raised MINE as well! So this chicks ass is spilling across 3 seats.
I thought maybe I'd be able to deal with the situation. Maybe it won't be all that bad.
That lasted about 10 minutes. I reached up and hauled the armrest down, squeezing the chicks thigh back on to her side of the seat cushion... I thought to myself, "finally I can breathe!" But NO... the fatass is too warm now so she takes off her jacket, revealing the fact that she's wearing a belly-shirt which doesn't cover shit all, then she takes the liberty of tucking her jacket on to MY side of the armrest, and virtually tossing her fat shoulder into my ribs in an attempt to gain some ground. I'd had it at this point. We were airborne and I was trying to get some sleep, so I turned sideways (the only way I could actually reach the back of my own chair) and wedged myself back into position, earning me a dirty look from the fat one. I didn't care, I had carved out some space and was trying to finally get some sleep.
I wake up about 30 min later when I get cracked in the back of the skull by the drink cart coming down the aisle. The fatass had sneakily been shoving her way further and further over towards me and pushing me further into the aisle. Her fatass boyfriend was snoring (loudly) on her shoulder, her mouth was open pointing at me and her breath stank. I was not a happy camper. I pushed back in a less than tactful way, and I don't even think she felt it. My elbow must have sank 6 inches into her side. Every time she would shift position, her thigh would try to creep under the armrest and shove it back up. I swear that thing had a mind of its own. I had to lean on the armrest with all my weight once, in conjunction with a shoulder push to avoid the drink cart again, to get the point across that I was NOT interested in snuggling with the fat blob and her snoring companion. I don't think they got the point.
This went on for another 2 and a half hours.
I've landed, I'm happy, I'm exhausted but I'm free. I'm trying to get to the baggage claim, when I get caught up behind pedestrian traffic. Now the hallways in terminal 3 are quite wide, you can probably walk 8 abreast there. In fact, there was a group of 5 taking up only half the hallway, but a fat, dumpy, slow-moving couple were taking up the other half. Yes, they took up the space of 5 people. They had spaced themselves out perfectly, leaving just enough space between them, the wall, and the other group that if you had tried to push through it would have been rude. I was ready to be rude. I think the restraint shown by not dangling a strip of uncooked bacon in front of their noses in order to make them move faster was polite enough.
Are people in general really that oblivious? If so, why is it fat ignorant people that make it their duty in life to get in the way of everyone else? Walk behind other slow-moving peole, shove your boyfriends fat head into the window, I don't care! Just don't impose your fatness on me or the rest of the world! I almost tripped half a dozen people on their way to the bathroom because I was hanging halfway off my seat!
Think I could claim the flight back from WestJet for 'physical and emotional trauma'? Maybe I could just get them to impose an ass-size limit the same way they measure your carry-on. If you can't fit into a seat by the check-in desk, you're screwed.
I'm heading to the gym.
Take for instance my trip home from Comox. I was lucky enough to have an empty seat between myself and the window-seat on the leg from Comox to Calgary. I foolishly took this as a sign that because I chose to travel overnight that the plane may be less than full on the Calgary-Toronto leg. Oh how misguided my thoughts were. I finally get on the plane in Calgary at 12:30am after a 4 hour layover, only to be greeted by a couple snuggling in the whole 3-seat-wide row. Now normally I really wouldn't care, but due to this womans incredibly wide thighs they had chosen to raise the armrest between the seats... not only between their two seats, but they raised MINE as well! So this chicks ass is spilling across 3 seats.
I thought maybe I'd be able to deal with the situation. Maybe it won't be all that bad.
That lasted about 10 minutes. I reached up and hauled the armrest down, squeezing the chicks thigh back on to her side of the seat cushion... I thought to myself, "finally I can breathe!" But NO... the fatass is too warm now so she takes off her jacket, revealing the fact that she's wearing a belly-shirt which doesn't cover shit all, then she takes the liberty of tucking her jacket on to MY side of the armrest, and virtually tossing her fat shoulder into my ribs in an attempt to gain some ground. I'd had it at this point. We were airborne and I was trying to get some sleep, so I turned sideways (the only way I could actually reach the back of my own chair) and wedged myself back into position, earning me a dirty look from the fat one. I didn't care, I had carved out some space and was trying to finally get some sleep.
I wake up about 30 min later when I get cracked in the back of the skull by the drink cart coming down the aisle. The fatass had sneakily been shoving her way further and further over towards me and pushing me further into the aisle. Her fatass boyfriend was snoring (loudly) on her shoulder, her mouth was open pointing at me and her breath stank. I was not a happy camper. I pushed back in a less than tactful way, and I don't even think she felt it. My elbow must have sank 6 inches into her side. Every time she would shift position, her thigh would try to creep under the armrest and shove it back up. I swear that thing had a mind of its own. I had to lean on the armrest with all my weight once, in conjunction with a shoulder push to avoid the drink cart again, to get the point across that I was NOT interested in snuggling with the fat blob and her snoring companion. I don't think they got the point.
This went on for another 2 and a half hours.
I've landed, I'm happy, I'm exhausted but I'm free. I'm trying to get to the baggage claim, when I get caught up behind pedestrian traffic. Now the hallways in terminal 3 are quite wide, you can probably walk 8 abreast there. In fact, there was a group of 5 taking up only half the hallway, but a fat, dumpy, slow-moving couple were taking up the other half. Yes, they took up the space of 5 people. They had spaced themselves out perfectly, leaving just enough space between them, the wall, and the other group that if you had tried to push through it would have been rude. I was ready to be rude. I think the restraint shown by not dangling a strip of uncooked bacon in front of their noses in order to make them move faster was polite enough.
Are people in general really that oblivious? If so, why is it fat ignorant people that make it their duty in life to get in the way of everyone else? Walk behind other slow-moving peole, shove your boyfriends fat head into the window, I don't care! Just don't impose your fatness on me or the rest of the world! I almost tripped half a dozen people on their way to the bathroom because I was hanging halfway off my seat!
Think I could claim the flight back from WestJet for 'physical and emotional trauma'? Maybe I could just get them to impose an ass-size limit the same way they measure your carry-on. If you can't fit into a seat by the check-in desk, you're screwed.
I'm heading to the gym.
posted by Jack at 5:31 PM
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